I was saved as a young child, but didn’t come to the full realization of what being saved meant until I was about 23. I had taken my life in a direction that resulted in me getting to the point where I couldn’t get out of the pit without my Savior’s help. At that point I realized that even if everything else faded away and died, even if it meant I lost everything and everyone, it was ok. Because all I wanted and needed was Jesus. That birthing process was horrifically painful, but outstandingly fruitful. Even in the depths of the excruciating birthing process, I felt Him physically holding me. He never, ever let go. And that’s when I knew that He was Who He said He was. This Jesus, this Savior, He really was my closest friend. And He would be with me until the very end.
This passage of scripture says it all:
Psalm 139:1-18 CEB
For the music leader. Of David. A song.
139 Lord, you have examined me.
You know me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up.
Even from far away, you comprehend my plans.
3 You study my traveling and resting.
You are thoroughly familiar with all my ways.
4 There isn’t a word on my tongue, Lord,
that you don’t already know completely.
5 You surround me—front and back.
You put your hand on me.
6 That kind of knowledge is too much for me;
it’s so high above me that I can’t fathom it.
7 Where could I go to get away from your spirit?
Where could I go to escape your presence?
8 If I went up to heaven, you would be there.
If I went down to the grave,[a] you would be there too!
9 If I could fly on the wings of dawn,
stopping to rest only on the far side of the ocean—
10 even there your hand would guide me;
even there your strong hand would hold me tight!
11 If I said, “The darkness will definitely hide me;
the light will become night around me,”
12 even then the darkness isn’t too dark for you!
Nighttime would shine bright as day,
because darkness is the same as light to you!
13 You are the one who created my innermost parts;
you knit me together while I was still in my mother’s womb.
14 I give thanks to you that I was marvelously set apart.
Your works are wonderful—I know that very well.
15 My bones weren’t hidden from you
when I was being put together in a secret place,
when I was being woven together in the deep parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my embryo,
and on your scroll every day was written that was being formed for me,[b]
before any one of them had yet happened.[c]
17 God, your plans are incomprehensible to me!
Their total number is countless!
18 If I tried to count them—they outnumber grains of sand!
If I came to the very end—I’d still be with you.[d]